Peter Pan of course.

He can fly. He doesn't grow up. His best friend is a fairy. He has great adventures. He loves stories. He lives in a hollow tree. HE is the Trickster!

Of course, the above heading begs the question: Well, how well have you followed him?

WEll, I can't fly, although I have always wanted to. The nearest I've gotten to really flying was in a Piper Cub- and when I saw the circular rainbow. THAT was awesome!

Not growing up? THat has ever been my goal and so far I have succeeded. Oh, yeah, my body is old and fond of reminding me, but inside I am somewhere between 2 1/2 and 10- depending on the day.

As far as fairies go, I have a house elf, one particular land spirit and a dryad who live in the house and/or come inside regularly to speak with me, Tuesday they told me a friend was ready to come in the door and I best get my laundry changed out! And I have friends that I rely on as much as Pan did Tink.

LOL! I have had many "great adventures" and I can have a great adventure right here in the house if I choose to. I can go hunting (for bugs), find treasure (clean out closets), etc. I have found it is a matter of attitude rather than geography.

Of COURSE I love stories. Always have. As Aunt Eleanor said, "I have been to Sheba and PAris, Shangri-La and all sorts of places. Right here in this room (the library.)"

Ah, don't live in a hollow tree, but I have managed to create a jungle in the middle of a suburban savana. ANd I am looking out a vine covered window.....

'Nuff said. I think I've been pretty successful.

Houses make noises. As much as we don't hear them most of the time, they creak, sigh, moan. Most of the time, they don't register on our conciousness, unless of course, the weather is windy, or if there is something seriously wrong.

Today, I heard distinct snapping noises from the bathroom- not continuous, mind you, but every so often. Normally, I would chalk it up to the house settling, but it was really bothering me because it happened quite often. I was beginning to worry that the wall was fixin' to come down. But that wasn't it at all. I found the noise.

Air-n-darkness was kind enough to give me an Airwick timed air freshener unit that goes off every 15 minutes. It makes the bathroom smell really nice! And, you guessed it!- makes a barely audible snapping noise when it dispenses a small puff of air freshner into the air. I was simply hearing that small snap.

You may commence giggling now. I did!

LOL! HAd to add the disclaimer. I know too many times when modern medicine has not worked as well as I would have wished.

But today, I am grateful for when it does work. I just got a phone call from a friend who had a surgical procedure to inject medicine into a joint that is damaged from arthritis. For the first time in ten years, he awoke without pain. What wonderful news!

It reminded me of the time I went to visit my ex-husband's Uncle George after he had cataract surgery. He kept walking around the room saying, look at all the colors! Look at all the colors! It was evident that he had missed them, and they had been restored to him. It was the most wonderful gift!

Ok! Ok! I confess! I confess!

I never put up Yule decorations before the first of December. Why? Because I get tired of them. I have to clean around them, rearrange the livingroom to get the tree in there (you've seen my house-), and cats get into them and I have to redecorate the tree (Shadow thinks he is a Yule ornament), well, you get the drift.

But I have one decoration up already. Well, which isn't a hangover from last year. (No, the elf and the two dragons are there on purpose. The dragons guard the windows, and after a discussion with the land spirit that comes inside all the time, the elf (he's a house elf, he told me) well, he just reminds me that housework is important too.

ANYWAY, I really couldn't resist or wait. The Charlie Brown Christmas tree is on top of the dvd player. It's been there since Saturday, Nov. 28th. And I love it!

Really. I may have wrinkles, and take more medicine in one morning than I have in entire years, but I'm only 2 1/2. Or maybe 5. Depends on the day.

Yesterday, I was definitely a kid. Mike and I took James to the Pink Palace to see the Enchanted Forest. There was the avenue of trees, all decorated differently. One had a race track for a "garland" and went all around the tree! One had small stuffed animals for "ornaments." And of course there was "Blue Christmas" with a blue tree, blue and white ornaments and of course (hey! It's Memphis!) Elvis.

The surprise was the one I liked best was the one that won first prize. It was an "igloo" with a white tree in it and ornaments arranged in a garland around the tree. It was awesome! Oh, and the one that was all gold and red and green- the tallest one there.

And then of course, there was the Enchanted Forest- an animated fantasy land where the animals of the forest are getting ready for Christmas. There was Mr. Fox gathering nuts for the feast, and the Beavers selling Yule logs. My favorite was the fawn hiding in the snow right within reach, and the penguin who had fallen and was headed for the iced pond! He was quite comical!

And then, there was the trains! They went round and round the track, through snow covered tunnels and back again. Thomas the Train and his friends were on most of the tracks, but there was on "old fashioned" regular train as well. The village was awesome! With lots of folks skating, singing carols, etc. Could have watched for hours!

But the part that got me the most was the gingerbread houses! There was a detailed Victorian house, and Graceland (of course.) But my favorite was the castle. It had ice cream cone towers and wreaths made from cookies. And best of all, it looked like some kids had helped decorate it!

So, of course, now I want to make one. Thank goodness I am only 2 1/2!

Today I am grateful for stories- of all kinds. Personal stories can help us to know a person better as they reveal not only what happened, but how they reacted. Stories can gently point out a flaw in ourselves and how to overcome it. Stories can spark our imagination and let it run wild.

The story I am thinking about comes from a science fiction story I read years ago. I do believe it was by Robert Heinlein, one of my favorites at the time. It was a short story, and to be honest, I don't remember the name of the story or the collection it was in.

What I do remember was that it was in the early 70's when I read it and he had written this story in the 50's. In the story, the main character gets up and the computer greets him, tells him the time and temperature, tells him he has mail, tells him what he has on his schedule and what the news headlines are for the morning. I remember thinking how woderful it would be to have a machine like that.

Nearly forty years have passed, and I have that machine. Oh, it doesn't talk to me (thank the gods!) but it does bring me news, mail, time and weather, and when I think to use my calendar, my schedule. And I am grateful!

It has occurred to me that it has been a very long time since I did my daily gratitude list. This is not to say, I am not thankful for things in my life each and every day- even if it is a moment of sunshine streaming through my window, or the look of devotion from one of my cats. But I haven't written it down. So I am starting it again. Only this time, I will attempt to explain why exactly I am grateful for one particular thing.

This morning, I am grateful for things that keep me warm. Yesterday, the clan gathered at Rise's house for Thanksgiving and it was awesome. The company, the food was absolutely fabulaous. As was usual, after dinner, we watched A Muppet Christmas Carol and ate pie. Soon afterward, everyone left except me. I had stayed behind to help Rise with the dishes.

As it turned out, we had a deep sister-to-sister conversation. It was lovely, and I enjoyed being able to connect with Rise on that level. We did the dishes, and by the time I left (@11:30pm), there was frost all over the car! I was grateful I had brought my wool shawl after all. I had thought to leave it home as it was so nice when we left, but I thought "just in case." LOL! Boy! Did I need ti last night as I scraped the ice off the windshield!

When I got home, it was chilly in the house, but I was relunctant to turn on the furnace. For one thing, there is the annual burn off of dust which I wasn't quite willing to face and it wasn't THAT cold. But I did put on my thermal shirt before I got into bed and added an extra blanket. I stayed nice and toasty all night and Goyle the cat seemed to like it too as he spent most of the night under the covers with me.

THis moring, Mike got up before me and turned on the furnace. It was 60 degrees in here! A bit chilly. Yes, we had the annual dust burn off and I coughed for about 5 minutes, but it is burned off now and the furnace is working perfectly (thanks Jack!) And I still have my thermal shirt on. And I am warm. And I am grateful.

Yup, that's what I'm having at my sister's house. Mind you, it is traditional New England type Thangiving- Rise's roast turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes and homemade cranberry sauce, Anne's pumpkin and apple pies and I'm cooking the veggies: turnip, sweet potatoes, butternut squash and green bean casserole. And pickles! OF course! LOL!

Glad my jeans have elastic in the waist! LOL!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am overwhelmed by all I have to be thankful for:

1. I have three daughters that I am very proud of and four grandchildren whom I adore.
2. I have my sisters living within blocks of me.
3. I have a loving and supportive husband.
4. I have a network of friends who are as dear to me as family.
5. I have a roof over my head and food in the frig.
6. I am doing what I love to do.
7. I am blessed every minute of everyday- in the bad times as well as the good. I only have to look.

Today I am old, and I stand in the place of not understanding.

This morning I spent two and a half hours trying to convince a dear friend not to committ suicide. I am not a trained suicide counselor. Instead, I cajoled. I screamed. I drew scenarios of what it would be like on the other side if she did it. I drew vivid pictures of what it would be like here if she "offed" herself. I got pissed off. I got cold. I laughed. I made her angry enough to live another day.

And when I was done, I found myself in the place of not understanding.

And I asked myself why I did not understand. I have walked where she is walking. And yet I did not for a moment choose to lay down and die. I fought.

And maybe that's the secret: I fought. I fought for my sanity. I fought for my sobriety. I fought to keep a roof over my children's head, and food in their mouths. I fought against a horrid past. I fought my pride. I fought to live instead of just surviving.

And it was hard. At times, it felt like it would be easier to crawl across a sea of broken glass on my knees then to fight another moment. And I despaired at times. But I did not wrap myself in my despair. I took my stance and fought.

So, tonight, I am old. And I thank the gods that I stand in the place of not understanding.

I am not sure how it started. Surely, I have been fascinated by the image of the witch since I was a child. Perhaps it was because I loved Halloween even then. It meant seeing all my neighbors, and a chance to visit with them or perhaps it was the chocolate bars- the full sized ones. Maybe it was the millions of ghosts and witches that I created out of paper to hang on the windows. I am not sure.

Of course, maybe it was simply that a witch could be "bad" and get away with it- she was even celebrated once a year. I don't know. But I've always loved the image of a witch.

Somewhere along the line I started acquiring witch hats. I have a purple one, a red one, one with purple feathers and one with black feathers. One that was handmade by a friend of mine. I have a witch hat with a baseball brim, one that is just silly, a velveteen one, a taffeta one, and one that is highly embellished and worthy of a turn of the century high society lady. One has stars on it and one is a "classic" with the proverbial Puritan gold buckle in front.

SO what has this got to do with Yule? Oh, simple. I buy myself a present, usually inexpensive, something that I know no one else would get for me, while I am busy Yule shopping. I was at Schwab's and they had costume hats. One was an enormous brimmed, tall, crooked and curved veleveteen witch hat for sale. It is now mine.

And now I have an entire coven of witch hats!

LOL! Once upon a time, it meant cooking and cleaning for Thanksgiving AND Christmas, but now that my sisters are so close, that is no longer true. We share holidays. Anne gets Halloween. We dress up and dress up the outside, eat crazy foods (think 'lady fingers' LOL!) and scare the little kids with our costumes and pass out candy. We were designated "the spooky house!" by a first grader and we were very proud!

Thanksgiving is at Rise's. She knows how to cook a killer turkey and can dress a table to die for. We share making the foods and gather as much of the clan as we can to eat together. Our kids are grown, so we generally have to share with their S.O.'s families. But everyone gathers for Aunt Anne's pumpkin pie, and a few nibbles at Aunt Rise's turkey!

Yule is all mine! About ten years ago, my kids and I were discussing when they would be able to come for Christmas dinner. Each of them had in-laws to go to and the schedule seemed impossible. So I put my foot down. I told them that Yule was MY holiday, so why didn't we celebrate Yule? And so I have my kids and most of the clan for Yule. The clan gathers for supper the night before, and after the littlest ones are in bed, we fill stockings from "the Holly King." We usually watch a Christmas movie and eat cookies and drink coffee. Then my sisters head to their homes and my kids find a space on the floor to sleep. Yule morning, we get up early to see what the Holly King has brought, and eat breakfast. Then we open presents and groan for a while, while I duck into the kitchen to cook. The feast is a carnivore's dream! But that's a story for another time.

So, what do I have on my "to do" list? Actually, not a whole lot. I already have part of the feast squirreled away in the freezer, and part of my present buying is already done. I am looking forward to baking cookies with my daughters, and decorating the house, but that's just part of the festivities!

I am not sure why, but the weeks immediatly following Samhain finds me wanting to clean, clean, clean. Perhaps this time it's the new stove, or maybe its simply getting ready for the influx of children at Yule. At any rate, I have the cleaning bug and I managed to fill an whole garbage can out of my office alone. The poor garbage men! They are going to hate me for a while!

In other news, my sisters and I went to see A Christmas Carol starring Jim Carey. Although I am not particularly a Carey fan, I absolutely loved it! I am getting quite fond of the new 3d movies. There was very little in the way of coming out of the screen tricks, but on the other hand, it was quite like looking at a stage. And the glasses are much more comfortable than the old paper red and green tinted glasses. And they fit over my regular glasses so that's a plus. That aside, the story was told beautifully. I was particualrly impressed with the depiction of the three spirits. And the heavenside view of the earth during Scrooge's sojourn with the spirit of Christmas Present  was truly inspired!

Against my better judgement, I joined NaNoWriMo this year. I am only 5,000 words into the story, but I am certainly learning a great deal. Not the least of which is it is darn hard to "turn off my inner editor." Almost immediately after I write something I can think of a better way to say it. Ugh! But I will not quit even if I don't make the 50,000 word mark. I am determined! Wish me luck!

LOL! REally, I am so blessed domestic. My stove died, and luckily, we had enough credit to buy a new one. It took me all of five minutes to pick out the one I wanted: a shiny new electric (ok, I love gas, but don't have the $$ to put in a gas line), with a stainless steel front and a black enamel top. It is smaller than the stove I worked so hard for, but well, I learned I really didn't need all the bells and whistles after all. Just an oven big enough for a 25 lb turkey and a timer.

Of course, now I will have enough room to make/build/find a cabinet to go beside it. This would be wonderful because I could get some counter space back!  Whoo-hoo! Feels like Christmas!

You know, my appliances don't just give up the ghost. Oh, no. They have to do it spectacularly! And my stove was no exception.

I was cooking my breakfast (I happen to be fond of boiled eggs) and, as usual, had retired to the livingroom to watch the news. I thought I heard the eggs boiling over on the stove (happens sometimes when there is too much water because I am not awake enough, or because the shell on one has cracked...well, you get the picture.) SO, naturally, I run into the kitchen to save my stove from a horrible malfunction. (Did I mention the stove is electric?)

TO my vast surprise, the water was just getting hot. But my stove, in its infinite lust, decided to weld my pot to the burner. HAven't seen a light that bright since we burned magnesium in chemistry lab back in '68. Naturally, I panicked thinking that there was something burning on the burner. And by golly, it sure was. Only it was the burner itself. DIdn't know that an "eye" could take that shape.

Now, one would suppose that just because an eye (burner) has gone out, that the rest of the stove should work just fine. Yup, you guessed it- the whole thing went out.

Luckily, Sears is happy to rob us blind on a monthly basis. I'll be back in business in no time.

I think that it's ironic, that on the first day of my new year, the question on writer's block is: If  you could go back to another decade, which one would it be? LOL!

My answer would be that I wouldn't go back. While I love to read about history and what it was like to live in different eras, I certainly wouldn' want to live there. I like my life now. I love my modern conveniences of a microwave, pc, telephone, etc. I like wearing comfortable clothes.

I also like me the way I am today. If I went back in time to another decade in my life, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Yes, because I am human, I would change things.  This is not to say I haven't made some horrendous mistakes in my past. Oh, yes, I certainly have! But put together, they have created the person I am today- flaws and all. And I would not change that.

I have had occasion to look back over my life and decide if I have any regrets. Despite the aforementioned mistakes,  I have only one: I was offered a chance to learn the Japenese tea ceremony, and I was not quick enough to respond, and the person who offered it moved.

I lead the open full moon tonight down at Freeman Park. It was awesome! Oh, not me- the circle! I love it when folks of differnt paths can get together to do a ritual. I cast circle for the first time with a broom! I think I like it! I used the broom that Willow made and it was just awesome! And yes, because it is Samhain (the first day of it) I wore my witch's hat. It made it all that more special for me. I know it is not politically correct, but by wearing my hat, I was honoring all the witches that have gone before me. It was wonderful.

I really wished it hadn't rained today. My niece had her driver's test today, and I am doing a Full Moon ritual in the park.

But if it hadn't rained, I would not have heard the symphony outside my window. The plop, plop of raindrops as they hit the top of the garbage can. The gentle titter tatter of the rain on the driveway. The rushing of the water as it ran down the gutter on my street.

I stopped and listened for a while, fascinated by the various sounds one little raincloud could make. Curously, it was refreshing to my spirit, and called home memories of a quieter, gentler time in my life.

Last night, my coven had it's Samhain celebration.

Last night, air_n_darkness lead the ritual, inwhich we went to the realm of the Crone to sacrifice what was extraneous in our lives in exchange for what we really desired.

Last night, in a dimly lit room, we were surrounded by a light that was nearly blinding.

Last night, we spent an eternity with the Crone in ten minutes.

LAst night, we feasted, and as I looked around the room, I felt I had lived an entire lifetime with those folks, and realized that they were indeed my chosen family and each one is dear to me.

Last night, the wheel revolved, a corner was turned, a promise made.

Last night was the most magical night I have had in a long time.

And this morning, I feel as excited as a kid on Christmas morning!